Two weeks ago, I woke up

in the morning and winced while pulling out my earplugs. This is normal for me. My ears have been scabbed for a couple of months because of the pressure from the plugs. I took a sip of water and after the pain of swallowing, realized that my mouth sores had returned. Then I sauntered into the bathroom and looked in the mirror because something was bothering my eye. It was a stye. I decided to begin the laundry. While sorting clothes, my nose sputtered. Thinking it was the standard chemo runny nose, I sniffed and quickly swiped at it with the back of my hand, but my hand came away streaked in red. I returned to the bathroom for tissues. After tending to my nose, I pulled down my underwear and sat on the toilet. Even though my surgery with the robot was two and a half months ago, I'm still spotting (it takes longer to heal on chemo). I've been wearing pantyliners for three months. I then had to release some dogs from the doghouse in the backyard, so to speak. After I wiped and saw red on the toilet paper, I yelled a string of expletives. Third anal fissure.

While I feel better overall, my body is beginning to break down from the chemo wear and tear. I've woken up to blood on the sheets and blood on my pillowcase (it's not as bad as it sounds). If I begin bleeding out of my eyes, I might have all orifices covered. All six issues require regular maintenance, but the mouth sores are the most troublesome. One is on my tongue and the rest are down the left side of my throat. They won't go away, nor will they heal. It's difficult to eat, drink and talk. I've been prescribed "Magic Mouthwash" which acts like 10 minutes of novocaine, and I just received a FedEx delivery of GelClair which--fingers crossed--will speed the healing.

I was supposed to have my eighth infusion last Wednesday, but I've developed neutropenia (very low white blood cell count), so my chemotherapy has been postponed for one week. My bone marrow needs time to manufacture more fightin' cells (this is most likely the reason why I developed those little irksome side effects all at once). Doctor's orders: do NOT get another anal fissure. It concerns her most. My butthole must not become a revolving door to a bacteria disco party in my GI tract. 

And while we're on this subject... Some chemo patients suffer the indignity of constipation one week and then diarrhea the next. With one exception, the dogs in my doghouse have been a-okay. They are big and healthy and well-behaved. However, they need to go on a diet while my skin remains so tender. 

And so I chug the Miralax. And stay quarantined until my white blood cell count returns to baseline. And I count down the days until this is over. 

84 days under my belt. 63 more to go.