Infusion 4

This infusion was cause for celebration because it marked the end of the Adriamycin & Cytoxan (A/C) treatment. Sayonara "Red Devil!" I never have to pee tropical punch again!

The nurses commented that the A/C treatment is the most difficult of the breast cancer chemo treatments offered to patients. Perhaps. But every body is unique and tolerates these drugs differently, and I happened to tolerate the A/C treatment well. And regardless, anyone who's had chemotherapy has been to war. We might be in our separate silos enduring our own personal hell, but together we've seen a very dark side of life. Here's a run-down of the most significant side effects I've been dealing with due to the A/C treatment:

All my mucus membranes are affected--everything from the mouth through the gut and out the back door. I have weepy, bloodshot eyes and an inability to focus. It is difficult to read a book for long periods of time. My nose is runny, too.

My skin is delicate and sensitive. After every infusion, my face breaks out with red patches and small bumps. I have the rashy, pimply skin of a newborn baby. I get blisters on my toes from walking the trails, but I will not stop exercising since it helps my system expel the poisons. My heels feel a bit raw, too.

I've been cautioned to avoid scrapes and cuts because my body has few defenses, but this is impossible since I return to doing the things I normally do on my good days. So my hands have been scraped and little nicks appear out of nowhere. I now have a wart on the knuckle of my thumb.

The A/C treatment requires a white blood cell injection the following day after an infusion. It helps my bones manufacture and pump white blood cells into my body. The breast surgeon's and oncologist's office are pleased that I haven't visited the ER with an illness or fever.

My fingernails feel like they're spring-loaded and will pop off without warning like some slapstick cartoon, somersaulting through the air, landing and then walking back and re-inserting themselves into position on my fingers to do it all over again. They ache whenever I squeeze a sponge and I cannot peel an orange without using a knife. My fingernails and toenails are also turning purple, slowly pushing the color upward so that I have five little purple rainbows on each hand. It makes me smile. My armpits have turned a dark shade of purple, too! I'm okay with the temporary purple thing as long as I don't turn into this:

Of course, there's nausea and a loss of taste. I haven't yet vomited from my treatments. I keep drinking and eating which help. I've only lost five pounds, so I'm doing pretty well. I feel strong although fatigued.

On certain days, the overall malaise and fatigue is such a strong pull. I walk around with sandbags in my legs and nap in the morning and afternoon. Ironically, my body is never quiet. It vibrates from deep within. Every single day, 24/7. It's unlike anything I've ever experienced. Drinking coffee doesn't even come close.

After every A/C infusion, I experience three to four nights of night sweats. The chemical smell is terrible although it smells completely benign to Jason. I, however, cannot stand it. I change and launder the sheets every day until the night sweats end. Besides, the sheets are toxic!

Attack of the mouth sores! This only happened once when I was lenient (aka: lazy) about rinsing my mouth after every meal. I'm just so tired of the maintenance. I woke up one morning to an extremely sore throat and quickly realized that the pain was mouth sores running up and down my throat. One large purple blister dared to appear on the inside of my cheek, but it was the only one visible. A few days of vigilant mouth rinsing and gargling with the cold runny snot (a mixture of baking soda and salt in water) resolved the problem. Thankfully!

As mentioned earlier, all the mucus membranes from the mouth through the gut and out the back door are affected. I've never had any issues with my back door until now. Anal fissures. Twice. The culprit was Tracy's Small Batch Granola, a very delicious granola, locally made and filled with the good fiber and required protein my body needs--except for one minor inconvenience: large firm pieces of fiber exit a tender chemo'ed butthole like razorblades. I've been chugging the Miralax (disgusting!) and dabbing tender areas with vitamin E. Enough said.

My body temperature runs a degree cooler, so I constantly wear sweaters and/or scarves. And after every infusion, my blood pressure tanks. I never feel faint, but the veins around my head are sunken in rather than sticking out. This could be due to my heart. The A/C treatment makes the heart squeeze less effectively than usual which can result in permanent heart damage although my oncologist says that I would have noticed symptoms of damage by now (edema in the legs among other things). One of my girlfriends says that with my cooler body temp and cratered veins, I'm very vampire! I'll take it.

And yet with all this peripheral "noise," the most important thing has occurred: my tumor has shrunk considerably. My oncologist measured it after my second infusion. My tumor had shrunk from 4.1cm to 2cm. She has yet to measure it again, but will do so soon.

Chemotherapy has proven to be very strong and necessary medicine. Onward.