Infusions 6 & 7

How does one fall in love with an empty stale tuna fish can? I'm trying, I'm trying hard to do just that. I have some gifts of eucalyptus soap, lavender essential oil and a homemade oil perfume to help when the smell is entirely loathsome.

Infusions 6 and 7 were uneventful, boring even. I only received Taxol for those two. In order to make the Carbo/Taxol infusions more tolerable, each cycle is divided into weekly "mini" doses. One complete cycle is three weeks of treatment. Since I will receive four cycles of this regiment, that means 12 weeks of infusions, total.

While these infusions have been uneventful and boring, the support I've received is anything but. After I had my first treatment, I wasn't sure if I wanted visitors, but one girlfriend who has lymphoma recommended that I get drivers to and from the hospital because of the "funny way" I would feel. Initially, I emailed a small group of friends and asked if anyone wanted to volunteer to drive for the next three treatments. Those slots got filled within a day. And together, we discovered that it was fun to stick around and talk while I was being chemo'ed. My girlfriends were amazing. They took my mind off the Red Devil. And at times, that infusion room felt like a party!

One in eight women will get breast cancer. And that scares the crap out of some of my friends. Even though I'm the first one to get it, they're wondering who's next. My condition has scraped open a raw and searing vulnerability, a powerlessness that no amount of kale or broccoli can reverse. It's a game of "Tag. You're It."

So while I'm attached to the IV, I have received so much love and care from these wonderful women. So much patience, tenderness and flexibility. One held my hand when the IV needle pierced through my skin, hooking itself into my port. Many have fussed over my blankets to keep me warm. All of them have jumped whenever I've needed more water or crackers and then hurried away to the snack station--of course, returning with more than what I had asked for.

And oh, the skeletons that have emerged! So many stories! Amazing vacations around the US and abroad! Divorce! Separation and reconciliation! House selling and house buying! Photos of naked boyfriends (and the ability to use fingers on cell phones to make important parts of the images larger). A felted bunny rabbit made out of dust bunnies (What in the world? Why oh why, Martha, do you make us feel so inadequate???). An important lesson on the anatomy of a vagina. So much irreverence and so many major life changes in just one summer!

I have nine more infusions to go and all the drivers I need. And back-up drivers, too. And back-ups for the back-ups in case things get truly nutty. And visitors, too. I have been blessed with so many loving emails and texts and hugs and gifts and flowers and cards and walks and yardwork and housework and massages and food from these women. It's a constant stream--even now when I feel like my girlfriends should have moved onto something else. I would understand. And it's not just my girlfriends either. I have so much more to write about this, but this post is getting long enough as it is. To be continued.

But I do need to give a shout-out to these incredible women--my dear, sweet, beautiful girlfriends--who have supported me through this difficult time. If you haven't yet seen this, it's for you.