Fill 4

Wow, I've been gone! As in lost in the real world. My major event is completed (I underestimated the attendance numbers; instead of 600-700 people, it was more like 1,000-1,200. Oops). But it's finished and I'm moving onto other things.

Before I planned that big event, I made a big decision: I decided to get a fourth fill. I originally had skipped it. I went to my appointment, talked to my plastic surgeon about the exchange surgery and when she asked, "Are you ready for another one?" and motioned with her arm to the table (the syringes quietly rested on a silver tray, their needles hidden by protective sheaths), I grimaced and shook my head. I was done. Until... 

Until I went out to coffee with a flat-chested friend and realized her boobs were about the same size as mine. And while she likes her breast size, she says she frequently wears padding. Why? Because tank top arm holes can gape, creating a peep show for perverts. Padding pulls the fabric forward, reducing the size of those arm holes. I didn’t get into this reconstruction can of worms in order to wear padding. After our coffee together, I immediately scheduled a fourth fill for a second time. 

Throughout my reconstruction, I was told to wear my favorite clothing and look at the bumps on my chest. They would determine how I felt about them. Bigger? Smaller? Just right? The morning of my coffee, I buttoned up a well-loved cardigan. Buttoned it up. Without stretched fabric and gaps between the buttons. Hallelujah! However, my bumps disappeared entirely. It was a loose cardigan, but still…

One survivor told me that the fourth fill moves you out of the training bra stage. I see that now. This fill provided me with breasts in relaxed clothing.

The plastic surgeon’s office is mostly concerned with the Infra Mammary Fold (also known as the IMF). Once the breasts have an adequate amount of fill, there’s a natural-looking fold that occurs. It doesn't require much to get the IMF. I've had it since the second fill. However, the average amount of fills that women receive at my plastic surgeon's office is six to eight--and the majority of women go smaller than they originally thought. If six to eight fills is considered a reduction in breast size for all these survivors, that means one thing: my tits are going to be tiny! I've had the DD knockers. At this point, I'm okay with whatever mini bumps I end up with. The main thing: my fills are officially over!